Happy Father's Day!!!

Happy Father's Day to the greatest Dad, husband, uncle and friend!!!  I love you so much!  Thank you for being an amazing dad to our awesome kids!!!

Our sweet Boston

Tonight, our beloved long haired chihuahua, passed away from a tragic accident. We are heartbroken.

I rescued Boston at the end of May. He had been starved and I'm pretty sure someone had been hurting him as well.

Our friend Hope found him in her back yard. Either Boston has found his way to a safe place, or someone had put him in back there. Either way, from the second I saw his picture, I knew he was going to be the newest member of our family.

He was the best puppy anyone could ask for. So loving, he would snuggle up to anyone and love on them.

He followed me around everywhere, I think he thought I hung the moon.

I took him everywhere we went. In the short time we had him, we'd taken him to Idaho, Spanish Fork, Delta, and Cedar City. He loved the motor home.

My boys adored him. Carson and Boston were buddies. Boston like Caleb, when Carson and I were gone.

It was a privilege to have him in our lives for the short time he was on this earth. He was adored, loved and will be missed every day.

We love you Boston!!!

People said it would happen...

And it does!  I have to ask my husband every day "Where are you?"
Or my new favorite response to someone who asks where Allan is: "Somewhere in the sky."
I also ask him "When will you be home?" a lot.
It's an interesting phenomenon!
I'm growing used to his nomadic lifestyle, I guess.

And for your viewing pleasure...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=8r1CZTLk-Gk

Frustrated!!! And maybe a little overwhelmed...

Life is on an interesting course right now.  I've posted a few times about Caleb's weird medical problems and after many years, we have some answers.  Caleb has some pretty severe food allergies.  I can actually thank Dr. Oz for this one.  I never, ever watch his show but it happened to be on after Judge Judy (who I love, ha ha) and he was talking about a mystery rash that people got on their elbows and their knees and how that it's usually a sign of Celiac Disease.  So after getting made fun of by my husband, I made an appointment with the doctor.

She ran lots of tests.  Lots of very expensive but medically necessary tests.  It came back negative for all the super scary things (pancreas stuff) but showed that some of his levels were elevated and that probably indicated a food allergy.  I'm thinking "Food allergy?  So simple!"  Until they did another blood test and it came back that he was 'reactive' to 26 different kinds of foods.  Things like carrots, cabbage, milk, potatoes, tomatoes, barley, wheat.

After having a few panic attacks, crying, blaming myself for starving him for 12 years, I finally got a grip and started to deal with it.  I'm not gonna lie, it took me a few days to pull it together and a few weeks to make sense of it in my head.  I had to figure out what to feed him.  Which is an everyday process!  "Can Caleb eat this?' and  "Oh crap!!!  Caleb!  You had cabbage!!!" are things I find myself saying.

Caleb has taken it all in stride, I think he's relieved that we have finally found an answer for why he feels like crap so much of the time.  I'm so blessed to have such a calm kid.  I think it would freak most kids out that are his age to be "different" but he's just so cool about it.  His friends are also cool about it, never making him feel weird about it.

My biggest challenge is making the school understand that it is a PROCESS!!!  I took Caleb home from school the other day because he was SO SICK!!!  He had went with some friends to the 'store' and gotten an ice cream bar, totally forgetting that he couldn't have ice cream.  (Side note: Caleb also has ADHD.  His biggest issue?  Memory.)  The vice principal at the school actually told me "If Caleb continues to sabotage his diet, there's going to be a problem."  Seriously?!  At the time, he'd know for less than 3 weeks about the food allergy!!!  So my thoughts on this?  If this was your child, Mr. Important, you would be a lot more understanding.  So get off my back!!!  I'm a good mom who would NEVER let her child "sabotage" his diet.  Plus, the side effects of what happens to Caleb are not pleasant.  No one in their right mind would do this to themselves intentionally.  It's extremely painful (we thought it was his appendix at one time), he throws up, gets a rash, and other things I won't embarrass him about on here.  So the next time you want to throw a stone, make sure you have the correct target!  Because you came out looking like an idiot.  Lots of my friends and family have had a laugh at your expense.

The other joys of this?  We get to always carry and epi pen and benedryl where ever we go.  It scares me to think of those things but its the reality of the situation.  At school, he has to carry them in his back pack, just in case something was to happen.  I prefer to bury my head in the sand about this part unless it becomes a reality though ;)

At least our lives are never boring!!!

Happy Birthday Caleb!!! 12 years old? Seriously?

Caleb turns 12 today.  Wow.  What the crap?  How did he grow up overnight?  I'm still shaking my head about this.  MAKE HIM STOP GROWING UP!!!  


Caleb is one of the coolest kids you'll ever meet.  His smile will melt you, it's all dimples.  And those big blue eyes just light up whenever he talks.  I know how he got his huge personality, by the way.  When he was in heaven, his Grandma and Grandpa Tribett told him, "Just go down there and have lots of fun."  And he has.

Caleb loves soccer, playing X Box, hanging out with his friends, and driving his mother crazy.

In the womb, I always said that he was going to be an amazing soccer player because that kid kicked my ribs until I couldn't breathe and I was black and blue!  He was a baby that HATED being a baby.  He wanted to do all the stuff that the big kids could do(he still does actually.)  He was the most miserable baby ever born!!!  Once he was mobile, he was the happiest kid on earth. 

I gained 85 pounds when I was pregnant with Caleb, thanks to toxemia.  Not to mention the horrible morning sickness that I had for 6 months.  I told him this morning that they should celebrate the sacrifices that we make with our bodies to have babies.  Yes, I have a problem with vanity.  I know this.  And I'm OK with it.  He is worth every stretch mark, loose hanging skin, saggy boob moment that I have in my life!




Proud daddy!  Allan was so happy to become a dad.  Caleb is so lucky to have a dad who sacrifices so much to make our lives easier.  He loves him soooo much!!!

It's amazing that I was coherent enough to smile in this picture, I was drugged out of this world due to my high blood pressure.  Maybe I was just seeing all the pretty birdies floating around the room...

Caleb Allan Goeser.  Born on March 30th, 2000 at 7:43 am.  He weighed 7lbs 2 oz and was 20 inches long.

One of him sleeping.  He didn't do this very often, so I liked to have proof that he actually slept.

Hospital photo.  This was taken right before we went home.  I had to go shopping and buy him preemie clothes because he was so tiny and skinny, nothing fit him.  Again, nothing changes.  Nothing fits Caleb still to this day!!!

Spitting image of Allan!  I about died when I saw this picture!  I was sad that he looked nothing like me.  Well, that definitely changed.  He looks just like me now.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO THE COOLEST KID ON THE PLANET!!!  I LOVE HIM SO MUCH!!!

***Disclaimer: Caleb was born pre-digital camera.  So some of these are pictures I took with my phone from scrapbook pages that I made.  ;)***

Questions running through my head...

I have had two different questions stuck in my head the past couple of days.  

First one: Do you get a Christmas bonus?

I thought that everyone in the world got Christmas bonuses but it turns out that some companies just don't offer them anymore.  Which I find very sad.  We have always done Christmas bonuses for our employees.  They work their butts off and they deserve to be rewarded.  We even have clients who send us Christmas bonuses, which I find completely endearing.  It makes us feel so appreciated!  

Second one:  Do you buy birthday presents for your kids friends or do you just give cash?

I used to be the cool mom who went out and bought cool presents.  Now I'm the mom who runs to the ATM and gives cash.  Is one better than the other?  I really don't know.  But I hope that I don't suck because I'm the money giving mom....

So, what do you think?  Leave me a comment and let me know!

Family Pictures 2011

Is there such thing as being too happy?

I've been accused of being too happy.  A LOT. Especially in the last several months.

I'm sure that most of you have figured out that I've recently (for lack of a better word) "divorced" several members of my family.  Why?  Because I got tired of being used and then discarded like trash.  Especially when the person who treated THEM like garbage deemed them fit to be back in her life, thus making me and my family unnecessary in their lives.  I have literally rescued them from abuse, being homeless, ya know, major crazy things like that and then POOF!  I'd get the big F-U from them and they're done with me (of course, only until they needed something.  Than I was wonderful again.)  I did this for YEARS and YEARS and I finally decided a few months ago that my kids and my husband should come first.  So I stopped the rescue mission.  Cold turkey.

So there's the back story to the "too happy" thing.  Said family members like to say that I'm too happy.  As in, I'm faking it. But in reality, I'm a happy person.  A smile through the tears, glass is half full, everything happens for a reason, kind of girl.  I guess that fact that I've made peace with my decision to cut them out of my life bothers them.  But to have my happiness used against me, frankly, it bugs the hell out of me!

I came across a quote on Pinterest that sums it all up "There is a difference in giving up, and knowing when you've had enough."  And I have had ENOUGH.  Crap, I'd had enough 5 years ago.  I don't miss the drama. I don't miss the backstabbing.  And I don't miss getting my heart ripped out again and again.

So, here's the deal. I love my hubby so much that it's ridiculous.  The word soul mate would fit in here, but I find that cheesy.  We just understand each other and love each other.  Every time Allan calls me (since he's in ground school, see posts below) he tells me how much he misses me, how much he loves me, how he can't wait to see me.  Seriously, who doesn't want to be loved and adored like that?  I know that I enjoy it and appreciate it to no end.  So that shouldn't make me happy?!  Because it does.

My kids are amazing.  They entertain me, ALL THE TIME .  They say funny things, they tell me funny stories, they are just the best little humans around.  So I shouldn't be happy about that either?  That I've given birth to two of the most incredible people alive?  It thrills me to pieces.

Also, I believe that happiness is a choice.  I choose to be happy.  I DON'T choose to wallow in pity, sadness and heartache.  And believe me, I've had my fair share to wallow in these past few years.  I choose to rise up and be the person who God intended me to be.

So, answer me this:
Have you ever given up on someone because they suck you dry emotionally?
Do you think that you can be too happy?

Well, I'm going to bed to sleep off this moment.  Here's to a HAPPY week!!!

Semi-Single Mom...

So, Allan is gone for ground school.  And I'm running the business, taking care of the kiddos and well, I'm not cooking or cleaning because, frankly, I just don't have the time nor do I give a crap right now.  By 4:00, I'm exhausted!  I've had a headache all week and I'm just a miserable 'ol beeeeotch.

I really need a new perspective.  I'm determined to get into the Christmas spirit though.  It will happen. Eventually.  RIGHT?!

I'm so grateful for all my wonderful friends and family who are always making sure that we're doing OK.  I knew that I had the best friends in the world but you have even outdone yourselves lately.  And I love and adore you for it!

OK, thanks for listening.  I really do feel better now....

Well, maybe it IS broken...

Yup, yet again I will not be up for that "Mother of the Year" award.  Because Carson broke his wrist and I didn't take him to the dr. for 2 days.  But, in my defense, it wasn't swollen, bruised nor were there any protruding bones sticking out of his skin.  Also, he is the one who climbed that fence after being specifically told not to!  Anyhow, I digress.  Carson broke his wrist on Saturday and he got his cast on today.  He is one tough cookie!  No whining or crying for this guy, he was all smiles!  And to choose a soccer print cast?  Talk about one proud mama.

Time to spill the beans...

Well, it's going to get around eventually, so I'd better share our good news!

Allan has gotten a job at Skywest Airlines as a pilot!!!

We are thrilled with this new venture, it's been our goal for the past 11 years.  Allan got his commercial pilot license right before September 11th, 2001.  So needless to say, we knew he wouldn't be getting a job anytime soon after that tragedy.  So instead, we focused on our lawn maintenance business, putting all our efforts into growing it into a successful business.  And it did.  It grew and grew and we eventually added the landscape side to our business too.  But our goal was for him to fly, always.

I am so proud of Allan, he never gave up.  How many people do you know who would wait 11 years to reach their goal?  I'm so grateful that he's the kind of man who never gives up.  He is the best example for our sons, who will always know that they can do whatever they want, as long as they keep trying and NEVER give up.

So what will happen to our lawn care/landscape business (better known as Desert Sun Landscape)?  Well, since I'm so bossy, I'll be running it while Allan is out of town.  We built this business from the ground up together and I'm happy to step in and run it.  We also have amazing employees, we are so lucky to have such dedicated men.  Who are willing to deal with me ;)

So, there's the latest and greatest that's happening in our world.  LIFE IS GOOD!!!  Isn't it amazing how you can have the worst months of your life where everything goes wrong and then BAM!!!  Everything goes right! That's why I try to keep my happy face on, because things will eventually go right...

Exactly.

Truths

1. I think part of a best friend’s job should be to immediately clear your computer history if you die.

2. Nothing sucks more than that moment during an argument when you realize you’re wrong.

3. I totally take back all those times I didn’t want to nap when I was younger.

4. There is great need for a sarcasm font.

5. How the hell are you supposed to fold a fitted sheet?

6. Was learning cursive really necessary?

7. Map Quest really needs to start their directions on # 5. I’m pretty sure I know how to get out of my neighborhood.

8. Obituaries would be a lot more interesting if they told you how the person died.

9. I can’t remember the last time I wasn’t at least kind of tired.

10. Bad decisions make good stories.

11. You never know when it will strike, but there comes a moment at work when you know that you just aren’t going to do anything productive for the rest of the day.

12. Can we all just agree to ignore whatever comes after Blue Ray? I don’t want to have to restart my collection…again.

13. I’m always slightly terrified when I exit out of Word and it asks me if I want to save any changes to my ten-page technical report that I swear I did not make any changes to.

14. “Do not machine wash or tumble dry” means I will never wash this – ever.

15. I hate when I just miss a call by the last ring (Hello? Hello? **** it!), but when I immediately call back, it rings nine times and goes to voice mail. What did you do after I didn’t answer? Drop the phone and run away?

16. I hate leaving my house confident and looking good and then not seeing anyone of importance the entire day. What a waste.

17. I keep some people’s phone numbers in my phone just so I know not to answer when they call.

18. I think the freezer deserves a light as well.

19. I disagree with Kay Jewelers. I would bet on any given Friday or Saturday night more kisses begin with Miller Lite than Kay.

20. I wish Google Maps had an “Avoid Ghetto” routing option.

21. Sometimes, I’ll watch a movie that I watched when I was younger and suddenly realize I had no idea what the heck was going on when I first saw it.

22. I would rather try to carry 10 over-loaded plastic bags in each hand than take 2 trips to bring my groceries in.

23. The only time I look forward to a red light is when I’m trying to finish a text.

24. I have a hard time deciphering the fine line between boredom and hunger.

25. How many times is it appropriate to say “What?” before you just nod and smile because you still didn’t hear or understand a word they said?

26. I love the sense of camaraderie when an entire line of cars team up to prevent a jerk from cutting in at the front. Stay strong, brothers and sisters!

27. Shirts get dirty. Underwear gets dirty. Pants? Pants never get dirty, and you can wear them forever.

28. Is it just me or do high school kids get dumber & dumber every year?

29. There’s no worse feeling than that millisecond you’re sure you are going to die after leaning your chair back a little too far.

30. As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate bicyclists.

31. Sometimes I’ll look down at my watch 3 consecutive times and still not know what time it is.

32. Even under ideal conditions people have trouble locating their car keys in a pocket, finding their cell phone, and Pinning the Tail on the Donkey – but I’d bet my *** everyone can find and push the snooze button from 3 feet away, in about 1.7 seconds, eyes closed, first time, every time!

***SMILING AND NODDING YOUR HEAD, AREN'T YOU?!***

Gonna try something new.

Lately, my life has been TOUGH (I want to say sh*t but my mom reads my blog...)

My heart was shattered (not by my hubby or my boys) into teeny, tiny pieces.  I guess it's been a slow process actually.  I should say that it's been getting chipped away, piece by piece, over the past year and a half.  Needless to say, if it hadn't been for my husband and kids to pick up those pieces, and put me back together, I don't know how I would have survived it.  Also, I've had some amazing friends and family who have let me whine endlessly about it.

So today, as I was pondering all the crap that is my life these days, I've decided that I'M SO OVER IT!!!  Instead of letting these people repeatedly hurt me, I'm done. Finished. Bye. Gone. See ya.

I'm now focusing on the people who have made me feel loved, happy and safe and at peace.  Because those are the people that matter.

Not the energy suckers.  You know, the ones up for the Emmy for the MOST DRAMATIC PERSON IN MY LIFE.  Because those people don't matter.  There's a saying that I love.  "Don't make someone in your life an priority, when you're only an option in theirs."  (Or something like that.  You get the gist of it, right?)  All I've done is revolve my life around people who use me as an option.  Only calling me when they want something, need something or to b*tch about how horrible their life is.  Well, I'm not their therapist (and trust me, they all need one) getting paid to deal with their life choices.  Suck it up and deal with it.  I've had to, so why the hell haven't you?!  Anyway, I digress....

I'm a wife.  I'm a mom. I'm a friend.  And those are the people who get my focus now.  Peace and happiness are what my life is going to be focused on.  Because you have to make yourself happy in order to be happy, right?

I'd also like to thank all the music on my iPod. ;) Music is my therapy, it always has been.  Because sometimes you've just gotta sing at the top of your lungs to make you feel better.  Well, it works for me...

And Allan.  The man who held me as I sobbed.  Told me that everything would be OK.  When he was hurting just as much as I was.  He is one of the best things that has ever happened to me.  I shudder to think where I'd be without that man.  I love you. Forever.

My kids.  My sunshine on a cloudy day.  They can always make me laugh.  They love me, even when I'm angry robot mom.  They tell me often (and without coaxing) that I'm the best/coolest/nicest mom in the world. There are no words to how much these people mean to me.  They are my world.

My mom.  Who just listens when I need to vent.  No judgement from her, just love and understanding.  I know that I'm a good mom because I had a good mom.  I love you mom.

My dad.  He always let me know how proud he is of us.  This is something that we don't hear from the flip side and it means the world to us.  Because every kid needs to feel pride radiate from their dad.  I love you dad.

My friends.  The ones who love me no matter what.  The ones who will understand what this post is all about.  Thank you. You'll never know how much your friendship has meant to me.  I know you'll know who you are when you read this.

And now, some awesome quotes that have made me smile, cry, or laugh out loud like a crazy lady :)

***I'm sorry about the potty words, but those have been flying out of my mouth like the wizard of oz monkeys lately.  Perhaps some day I will clean up my mouth, but I'm not gonna lie.  It probably won't happen any time soon...***